A Break from Xeloda

I’m getting a week off from chemo because of hand/foot syndrome. Basically, the toxins in the drugs build in the soft tissue of the feet and hands, and it starts burning. Literally burning the flesh from the inside out– it’s pretty weird. Mine isn’t terrible, but they told me to report any symptoms right away because it gets worse before it gets better. So I’ll start chemo again next Monday at a slightly lower dose.

Not taking chemotherapy is kind of a strange thing to wrap my head around. I’m grateful to not have it or the side effects, but I don’t want my cancer cells to have free reign, either. I don’t think that a week will change things one way or another.

I’m actually getting kind of bored and need to find a new hobby or something. My feet are pretty sore right now so exercising is not on my mind. I feel tired and blah most of the time, and somehow can’t get into books or movies very much. I’ve tried knitting but it doesn’t do it for me that much. Scrapbooking and those kinds of crafts have too much clutter involved. I’m not artistic at all. Cooking is out because there is only so much you can do with saltines and applesauce.

I know that I could be working somehow, doing online editing or something? But I feel like it’s really hard to concentrate. And I don’t want to commit to something and then not be able to finish a job. And frankly, I want to do more fun stuff, not boring work!