We had a great time in Portland, eating and shopping and checking out some of the xmas decorations. Oliver loved all of the attention he got from so many adults, and Elsie is the cutest baby ever. I feel really lucky that I was feeling good enough to go on this trip and do so much walking around the city. We actually walked very little. . . but for me, it was a lot! My hips and ankles were sore for two days.
This week was a triple-whammy. I started my oral chemo week on Wednesday, plus had infusions of Zometa and Herceptin. I was also run-down from the trip and my immune system was probably on overdrive trying to fight off germs from the train. So I’ve spend the past few days doing a lot of napping.
I’m grateful that I’m doing so well right now on the Xeloda and Tykerb. It’s nice to have hair and eyebrows and eyelashes. Even my feet are doing pretty well, all things considered. But there are times that I wish I looked a little sick. As much as I like moving through the world without everyone I encounter thinking “cancer patient” the moment they see me, I do find it’s hard for people to understand my limitations. Going to the grocery store is exhausting. I love doing it– I like to get out, take care of my own errands, etc. But I have to plan one or two things a day, then take the time to rest. I often feel so tired and achy, like I have the flu, but I can’t actually fall asleep. I get restless and bored. It’s a good thing I have Finn and Jackson around to entertain me.
I’m also getting uncomfortable about how to respond to people I meet who ask “so, what do you do?” Two of the people on our Portland trip asked me that and I had no idea how to respond. I don’t want to be a bummer and respond with “Oh, I’m not working, I have terminal cancer.” That just makes everyone uncomfortable. I just laughed and said I was retired early, which of course makes no sense since I look like a healthy woman in her 30s. I should just start coming up with fake, crazy occupations. Or say I’m an heiress.