Keep On Keepin’ On

My PET scan results were better than expected. Despite a lot of active cancer lesions in my bones, things aren’t much better or worse and so we call that “stable” and consider it a victory. I should feel happier about it, but I’m just so tired it’s hard to feel anything about anything. The PET showed inflammation in my stomach which explains why I feel nauseated all the time, so we’re going to try a double-dose of Prilosec to see if that helps. But for the last several weeks I’ve just felt so crummy. . . I hope things get better.

Everyone keeps asking me about my plans, where I’m going on my next trip, etc. But right now I don’t have the energy to even think about all that. I don’t want to try to travel when I just end up sleeping through the trip. Maybe in a few weeks I’ll be able to get excited about making plans.

The truth is that I’m disappointed with the TDM-1. I should be happy that it is keeping things stable. But I went through so much just to get this drug, and I believed all of the hype about no side effects and how “easy” the treatment was. Now that I’m in it and dealing with the side effects, it’s just not that easy. And when I feel sick all of the time and I can’t enjoy going out to eat or traveling with friends, I start to feel depressed. I’ve lost 20 pounds since starting this drug just because food tastes awful. The fatigue makes doing simple things so difficult. And yet I’m so bored with lying around the house. I’m frustrated, but too tired to do anything about it.

So, the hope is that I can get rid of the nausea. Then maybe once I can start eating more, I can have more energy to do things. And once I’m outside doing things, maybe I will feel even better and can start planning events and trips and such. Finn and Piper need some adventures!

6 thoughts on “Keep On Keepin’ On”

  1. I feel you, sweet friend. Love to you and here’s to feeling better so that you can enjoy some living. It’s about the quality, I think we both agree on that. xoxo

    1. Agreed, Michelle! The dumb thing is that my QOL is actually pretty good right now compared to what it would be with other chemos. I just need to get over the disappointment of it all. Of having cancer, of the side effects of treatment, of having to live with it all long-term, etc. You are setting a good example for me by planning all of your fantastic trips. Tuscany! Amazing!

      1. As my fabulous nurse Patty says “need to” or “should” is so punishing! You’re amazing. Thanks for your honesty, it helps me more than you know.

  2. Karen we’re glad to hear there were some positives, but so sorry about your fatigue and nausea. Nothing worse than feeling crummy and too tired to make plans for your next adventure. We hope the sunshine will help, and you get some relief soon.
    Much love,
    Carol and Chuck

  3. Hang in there, lady!! Thank you for sharing your stories. Here’s to prilosec giving your nausea a big old kick in the ass. xo

  4. I wish it would have turned out better. Just put your feet up and let people take care of you.
    Glad you have Finn and Piper for your indoor entertainment. Love you, Sue

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